The Other Side

It was just an email.

But the words, to me, were shocking.... and cutting.

They were helpful suggestions but to me were presented in a selfish, judgmental way.  I felt attacked.  I was hurt.

I was angry!  

I knew I shouldn't have let it bother me, but rather just roll with it.  But I just couldn't.  I was too mad!  I also knew that if I didn't handle it properly, I could hurt their reputation, my own, and worse yet, my Savior's.  So I did something I hadn't done for a few weeks.... I went to the Word.  I knew I couldn't face this person, or handle this situation on my own.  I knew I would lash out or slander or accuse and I really really didn't want to do that!  I wanted to honor the Lord, but I just couldn't handle it!

The ladies retreat I had gone to with my church group just a few days prior did a study on Mary and Martha.  I learned a lot about my self during those three retreat sessions!  As I read through the booklet, looking for ways to tame the Martha in me, I found Hebrews 12:14-15:

Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord;

Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God;

lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, 

and thereby many be defiled.

I read this, and re-read it, and re-read it again.  "Lord, I just can't do this!  You have to do it for me!"

Now I know what it is like to be on the other side of the fence; he receiver of such criticism.  How often have I been the one offering "helpful suggestions" that, I am sure, were equally - if not more- harsh and hurtful.

I was also very careful not to talk to too many people about the situation.  I only talked to the necessary people to handle the situation.  I didn't even want to tell Hubby, because I knew his protective hairs would stand on end and I didn't need encouragement to be more angry!  I only told those who could help, and pray.  {I was trying to be wise!}

Thankfully the story has a happy ending!  I knew people were praying for me, and the Holy Spirit was working.  The eve before I had to face this person again, I had peace!  The Spirit of forgiveness I had been asking for came.  I had peace.  When it came time to face the music, God had not only given me peace, but also joy.  I had learned many valuable lessons:

1.  Keep your mouth shut!

2. Take it to the ONE who can fix the situation.

3. Ask for prayers from the people involved-- or the un-involved, 

who have no idea who the offending party is.

4. Submit to the Lord's help for which I so fervently asked.

~Judy

Psalm 103:10-12

There a lot of things I regret in my life.


 Things I did that I shouldn't have done.


 Things I said that I shouldn't have said.


 Things I didn't do that I should have done.


 Things I should have said and didn't.


 Even a frown when I should have smiled, or laughed when I should have condemned.


 I am so thankful that "He (God) has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor punished us according to our iniquities." (verse 10) I deserve hell. That's all there is to it. I don't deserve forgiveness, or a second chance. "For as the heavens are high above the earth,So great is His mercy toward those Who fear Him. "As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed out transgressions from us." God's forgiveness is great. So great that He never even thinks of them again. Jeremiah 31:34 "...For I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more." Now if only I could forget... and even more importantly, that others would.

 Judy 

 All Scripture taken from the New King James Version.

A Mother's Worry

I have been reading through a book my mother gave me, Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World, By Joanna Weaver.  Its hard to read much with a house full of kids, but am trying to read a little each day since we are on our summer schedule.  It has been a real blessing.  Yesterday I was talking to someone who was telling me about how much she worries about her children and grandchildren.  I know how easy it is to get wrapped up into worrying about our loved ones! {Spiritual, emotional and physical concerns!}  The section I read in the book today directly addressed this exact topic! {Funny how that works!}

Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World

Here is an excerpt from chapter 3 under the section titled, "Worry versus concern":

"Concern:                                                    Worry:
* Involves a ligitimate threat                         * Is often unfounded
* Is specific (one thing)                                * Is generalized (spreads to many things)
* Addresses the problem                             * Obsesses about the problem
* Solves problems                                       * Creates more problems
*Looks to God for answer                           * Looks to self or other people for answers

"Pastor and teacher Gary E. Gilley sums up the difference like this: 'Worry is allowing problems and distress to come between us and the heart of God.  It is the view that God has somehow lost control of the situation and we cannot trust Him.  A legitimate concern presses us closer to the heart of God and causes us to lean and trust Him all the more.' {Gary E. Gilley, "think on These Things" newsletter 4, no. 2 (February 1998).}

"Concern draws us to God.  Worry pulls us from him.  I think this distinction is especially helpful for those of us who tend to spiritualize worry, convincing ourselves that it's our duty to fret about such things as the state of the world, our finances, or our futures.  Oswald Chambers put it this way in My Utmost for His Highest:

                   'Fussing always ends in sin.  We imagine that a little anxiety and worry
                   are an indication of how really wise we are; it is much more an indica-
                   tion of how really wicked we are.  Fretting springs from a determination
                   to get our own way.  Our Lord never worried and He was never anxious,
                   because He was not "out" to realize His own idea;  He was "out" to
                   realize God's ideas.  Fretting is wicked if you are a child of God....
                   All our fret and worry is caused by calculating without God.'
                   {Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest (1935; reprint, Uhrichsville,
                    Ohio: Barbour, n.d.), 135}

"That's something we all need to remember when it comes to this issue of worry.  We face legitimate concerns every day of our lives.  But instead of fretting, instead of worrying, we need to focus on discerning what we can do (with God's help) and what should be left entirely up to God.  Even more important, we need to keep our focus on who God is and what God can do." {Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World, by Joanna Weaver, Copyright 2002, Waterbrook Press, pages 38, 39}

***********************************

I am so guilty of worrying!  I mean, I have 8 children to worry about, a husband who is on the road for 60 hours each week, elderly parents who are prone to falling and forgetting important things, quite a number of unsaved relatives....  "What if robbers come in the night while Dallas is gone?  I don't even have a dog anymore to warn me!"  "What if I am not prepared for {fill in the blank!}"  "What if something happens to Dallas and I am left to take care of this family by myself?"  The list goes on, and on, and on.  The list could go on forever!  But I can't think about things like that, but rather, trust the Lord in all things!  Two of the most valuable verses I memorized as a child is Philippians 4:6-7  "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, let your request be made known to God;  and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."  I quote these verses to myself often, but not often enough!  I still worry!  This book is such an encouragement to me.  I would encourage every woman to read it!

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"Nevertheless they flattered Him with their mouth..."

I was reading in Psalm 78 when I came across this verse.  "Nevertheless they flattered Him with their mouth, And they lied to Him with their tongue;"  {verse 36, NKJV}  The word "flattered" had a cross reference beside it, and I was prompted to follow it.  After all, you don't think of the word "flatter" as being something associated with one's relationship with God.  In the Old Testament, the examples of the Israelites are really illustrations of we, the Christians and our relationship with our Savior, Jesus Christ.

The cross reference that lead to Exodus 24:7-8 showed how the Israelites, in the wilderness were moved by the reading of the Law and they said, "All that the LORD has said we will do, and be obedient."  {Sounds like ME... such good intentions... only to fail, and probably within minutes of saying that!} These were flattering words, after all, isn't that what God wants to hear us say?

The second cross reference lead to Ezekiel 33:31 {I'll admit, I had to really think about where Ezekiel is, I haven't been there very often!}  "So they come to you as people do, they sit before you as My people, and they hear your words, but they do not do them; for with their mouth they show much love, but their hearts pursue their own gain.  V. 32 "Indeed you are to them as a very lovely song of one who has a pleasant voice and can play well on an instrument; for they hear your words, but they do not do them."  {Emphesis mine}

Wow.  This reminds me of... ME and other Christians I'm sure.  We go to church.  We hear the Word preached.  We "Amen" it, whether out loud or in our hearts.  We believe it.  We want to do it!  But when the rubber hits the road, we forget it.

"Dear lord, help me!  I truly want to obey Your Word!  I am just so human and my flesh, too often, runs me!  Give me strength to NOT flatter, but to OBEY Your Word..."

Kitchen Tips & Tricks #3: A GOOD soaking

Introducing....

my new best friend!

Well... maybe that isn't really an accurate description of dish detergent... but when I tried the "free sample" attached to my regular dish soap, I was impressed!  "Overnight Soaking in 5 Minutes", the label says.  It truly has made my dish washing adventures much easier!  I don't know about the 5 minutes, but if its really bad and you soak it overnight, there is no scrubbing!  NONE!  I love it.  

And now for my other new "friend"

This is my silverware crock.

We were really tired of the dishwasher not getting our silverware clean.  Between the dried-on food and having too many utensils crammed into the dishwasher rack, we sometimes had to re-wash almost half of the silverware!  So I thought I would soak it.  First I used regular dish soap and an ice cream bucket and it helped some.  Then I started using this new Dawn product and Da-Da-Daaaa!! there is no more dirty silverware!

Next I had to find something that looked better than an ice cream bucket to keep on my counter on a regular basis!  So I sent Corah and Peter on a black bucket hunt at Wal-Mart.  I told her basically what I was looking for and she came back with this elegant looking crock and it was only about $5.  I was thrilled!  Now it is a permanent fixture beside my kitchen sink.

On a different note...

I have been really needing a good "spiritual soaking".  I just haven't felt like I am walking as closely to the Lord as I once was.  What I need is a "spiritual soaking" in the Word of God.  I have been reading in Psalms and so greatly blessed with reminders of who God is and who I am to Him.

Growing up {a generation behind my brothers and sisters} I always felt I was born at the wrong time.  My parents had four grand children when I was born!  They were 45 & 51!  I always felt I had missed out on all the fun of growing up in a large family.  {Couldn't Mom at least have had twins when she had me?  Or even adopt a sister for me to play with?} 

Knowing now what I didn't know then... a child being born to a 45-year-old woman has about a 5% chance of  living to full term and being normal!  To top that off, I was born with the cord around my neck.  So when I found this verse in Psalm 71:6 

By You I have been upheld from birth;
You are He who took me out of my mother’s womb.
My praise shall be continually of You.

⁷ I have become as a wonder to many,
But You are my strong refuge.
⁸ Let my mouth be filled with Your praise
And with Your glory all the day.

I think I am finally getting a grasp on how special I have been to my parents and how God placed me at this time and this place for His purpose.

Linking up today with...

WARNING: DETOUR!!!!

Aren't detours annoying?  Like if there is a bridge out, and you can see where you need to go, but you have to go 3 miles out of your way to get there.  You can get lost, you know, if you don't carefully follow the signs.  And sometimes, even if you do follow the signs, you still don't end up where you ought to be.

Well, I have had a detour.  I had a simple, outpatient procedure planned for Tuesday morning, February 14.  I know, "who plans a procedure for Valentine's Day??"  Well, it was the week Dallas was off work, so we were off school and I didn't have to worry about having him take a day off or anything.  Except that every medical procedure comes with risks.  Between my family history and Murphy's Law (Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong... or something like that.)  Something went wrong.  Two additional surgeries and 7 days in the hospital!  I think I was even slightly addicted to my  pain drug for a couple of days there!  I have been home for three days now, and I am just not feeling as well as I think I should, and my doctor agrees.  One's body just takes a while sometimes to get over the sting of surgery.

Today I slept... A LOT.  And I hope it helps because tomorrow I will actually be home with my children!  I miss them.  I miss our "normal" {Tongue-in-cheek}. I miss helping them and snuggling them on my lap.  I missed Joe's birthday!!  I miss reading to them and being able to actually stay awake to finish the chapter!  I don't miss cooking.  {Thank you, church family!!!}

I feel as if I got a little lost on this detour.  I am not very faithful to read my bible and pray, but I had been working on it before this happened.  Dallas and I had got into the routine of having family devotions before school each morning, but we've been distracted {to say the least}.  I wanted to read the Gideon bible in the hospital room, but had double vision from all the drugs.  {2 IV's, 3 pumps; 4 bags of antibiotic, plus saline, nutrients, potassium, and pain}  My emotions had shut down through it all, and I didn't feel like talking. {What???? I know!!}  I never questioned God, though.  I knew He was in control.  I knew it didn't do any good to ask "Why?"  I was able to lie there and trust that He knew what He was doing, and asked Him to teach us what He wanted us to learn.  It still may take us a while to figure that out, as long as we learn!

Faith Comes by Hearing

"So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God."

Romans 10:17

Every time I have heard this verse, I associated it with Salvation.  I had never considered that this is how I will grow in my faith!  But that is what our Sunday school teacher said yesterday.  My faith comes {grows} by the Word of God, too!  I have learned that because I do not pray often, depending on the Lord the way I should, my faith is just, well... small.  I am fearful.  My thoughts wander to places they shouldn't.  I try so desperately to do everything on my own.

I have got to be the most pathetic of Christians because I actually read my Bible so infrequently.  I have been very convicted about this lately.  I am trying to get up earlier in the morning and have my own devotions.  Then Dallas leads family devotions after breakfast. Then we have "history" in the afternoon in which we are reading Genesis and {supposed to be} studying ancient Egypt.  It is a pretty tall order to follow, and there are some days when none of it happens.  But I have to thank God every time any of it happens, because it is only by HIS grace. In my flesh, it would never happen at all.  In Dallas' flesh, it would never happen, either!

My faith come by hearing... sermons about God's Word, but most importantly, "by the Word of God"!

Overwhelmed

The title describes how I have been feeling for the past month+.  Starting homeschooling without much organization, always feeling like I haven't had enough sleep {because I really don't}, dealing with the issues that go along with having elderly parents, starting a new home business- with all the fears, expenses & new things to learn that go along with THAT,  Hubby working extra hours, a constant backache, the repentant prodigal son who is stuck in Texas indefinitely{and very homesick, I might add!}, my 91-year-old dad {whom we thought was saved for close to 60 years} says now that the Bible is not true and he just can't believe it, and don't forget the two-year-old and her campaign to gain full control of the house- particularly her MOTHER....  I believe it all adds up to a nervous breakdown!!!

My Pastor's wife likes to share the verse, "when my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the Rock that is higher than I." Psalm 61:2  This verse has meant a lot to me these last several weeks.  Whenever I start feeling like crawling in a hole is the only solution, I remember this verse.  It is really the only relief I have.  I go to the Rock and He refreshes me and fills me with His love.  He gives comfort and peace.  I am so thankful for my relationship with my Savior.  I don't know how an unbeliever could get through all this stress.

"Thank You, Father, for the love and strength which only YOU can give!  I am so thankful for what You have done for me on the cross, and in my life.  Help me to just lean on You all the time!"


P.S.  I do have a few pictures to share, but the computer is not accepting my memory card... *sigh* just one more thing...

Day #2 Results

Wellllll...........   My results were not as drastic with my living room as with my kitchen!  I spent a lot of time trying to KEEP my kitchen clean (HUGE JOB!!)  I also was behind on laundry, so I folded about 6 loads of laundry. 

I did, however, put away Mary's winter clothes which have been on our loveseat for going on 2 weeks.  I washed nine children coats, which I will Space Bag today. (I love those Space Bags for winter coats and snow pants!)

 I also went through a basket, formerly known as a laundry basket (turned JUNK basket) which has been collecting junk in our bedroom for about a month.  (The sad thing is, I have another basket in the basement with the same problem!) 

I still tackled the top of the TV, which was covered with DVD's, CD's, and a nice layer of dust; and the piano, also covered with a nice layer of dust and dry plant leaves.

Somewhere in there I found time to make supper and walk Mary to the neighbor's to play.

My devotion time went well, I am reading in the Psalms.  However, by the time I crawled into bed at night, it seemed like last week since I had done that!

Rather than choosing music to listen to while working, I have been listining to the audio book The Duggars: 20 and Counting!  What a blessing that has been!  I am refreshed with renewed inspiration to teach my children more consisently about living for and loving our Saviour Jesus Christ and Christian character.  I also have a load of new child training insight, which is ALWAYS helpful!  I now believe there is hope for the Leah monster! ;-)

I am planning on working on the master bedroom for two days instead of doing the kids'room tomorrow.  We did it not too long ago, and the master is... scary!  It seems what I would consider a good time to clean my room, either Hubby or Baby are sleeping in there.  I am doing good to get the laundry put away the same week it is washed!  The scariest part will be pulling out the bed to clean and dust underneath.  Hubby gets to help with this!

Sorry, but photos would be to humiliating!  Maybe later!